Build Your Leaders

Archive for August, 2010

How to Build Trust

August 29th, 2010

When people are less trusting. As a student of business, I read a plethora of articles and books on business each year. Increasingly, I am seeing the word “transparency” pop up.

When transparent, business and businesspeople are open and authentic. They err on the side of disclosure and avoid hidden agendas.

It has been said that we are experiencing a crisis of trust. We trust people and institutions less and less. In a world of distrust, transparency creates trust, and trust creates credibility. By practicing transparency, businesses and businesspeople will earn trust, project credibility, and ultimately connect with their constituents in ways their competition cannot.

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Uncovering Your Deepest Desire

August 22nd, 2010

What do you really want? Years ago, I had my eye on a used Volkswagen Cabrio convertible. It was white with tan interior. “Should I get it?” I asked the Jungian analyst I was seeing at the time.

“Let me ask you this,” he replied. “What does this car symbolize to you?”

I thought a moment and answered: “Not caring so much what others think; being creative, free, spontaneous, and not so serious.”

My analyst paused, allowing my answers to soak in, and then responded: “Buy the car, or not; it really doesn’t matter. But know that these are the things you are truly wanting in your life right now.”

His was a lesson I’ve never forgotten. Whenever I want something, I try to remember to look deeper to see what it is that I am really seeking.

I bought the convertible, and almost every time I drove it I remembered the real reason I purchased it.

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Making Friends with The Evil Twin

August 8th, 2010

We all have one. Did you ever have a relative who embarrassed you—even just a little? He could have been a dopey little brother, a nutty spinster aunt, or even your parents when you were a teenager. Well, I have an evil twin, and he not only embarrasses me, I am ashamed of him, too.

A long time back, I shoved him into the basement of my subconscious; it was easier to pretend he didn’t exist. Recently, he became so loud I could no longer ignore him. I invited him upstairs for a visit.

Once I started listening to him he became quieter. I’m embarrassed by him less, and no longer am I ashamed.

Oh, he still thinks awful things, and every now and then he acts on them. For example, he recently wished havoc on an ex-partner and spoke ill of him to a mutual friend. But these less-than-pure thoughts and occasional rude actions no longer pack the punch they once did. More often than not, I can listen, observe, and reserve judgment. At times, I can even find compassion. I know that he is acting out of fear. He’s scared. Instead of berating him, I can soothe him.

I can’t say that I love my evil twin yet, but I am beginning to like him. Sometimes, he even makes me laugh.

Henry Miller was right when he wrote: “The full and joyful acceptance of the worst may be the only sure way of transforming it.” A shadow is no longer a shadow when it meets the full light of day.

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