Who is your group, your gang, your gaggle? Take a minute and list the people you like to hang with. Go ahead. Don’t think about it, just list them.
How big is your list? Two? Ten? Twenty? It really doesn’t matter.It’s quality not quantify that counts. My good friend Ginny says that if we die and have one person who we can call our dear friend, we’ve had a good life.
There’s a wonderful exercise that helps us rank the significant relationships in our lives. In it, we draw four concentric circles like the ripples in a pond after a stone has been dropped into it.
In the ripple closest to the center, we place those people who are our closest friends, those people with whom we share our secrets. In the next circle, we place those friends who we really like but probably wouldn’t share the intimate details of our lives. Those people who we enjoy doing things with – mainly because we belong to the same groups — land in the third circle, and in the fourth circle, or outermost circle, we place those people who are paid to be in our lives such as our doctors, bosses, or even executive coaches.
Look at your innermost circles of the friends, who energizes you and who takes away your energy? Now ask yourself, why are you choosing to spend time with energy vampires? Okay, maybe they are relatives or others that you have to see. Still, you can consciously limit your exposure to them, can’t you?
Even when people drain my energy, it’s hard for me to let them go. I can feel like a failure when a relationship runs it course. Several years ago, a friend forwarded an e-mail that is helping me learn how to let go.
Here it is:
A Season, Or a Lifetime?
Pay attention to what you read.
After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you!
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a reason…
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part,
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled,
their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a season.
Because your turn has come to share, grow, and learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real!
But only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons:
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life.